Life was going pretty well that time. I have finished my college degree, passed my licensure exams, and was already taking the career path I dreamt of. Everything was working according to my plans. Until He found me.
Coming from a family that is not well-off, I dreamt of a different life. A life that is easy, where everything I need and want is readily available for me. I strived hard at school aiming to have a college degree and to work abroad believing that this would be the answer to my dream. I wanted to become rich and successful so that I could be influential! I was conditioned by the society that wealth brings the success and happiness that I have been looking for. And it took me a while to realize that this is not so.
I was relentlessly pursuing my dreams; I worked, worked, and worked hard. I chased the things that I thought would give me success but I felt empty in the process. I ran after the things this world was offering but it was like chasing after the wind (Ecclesiastes 1:14). It caused me a lot of loneliness and gave me false hope along the way. The dream I thought would satisfy my heart’s longing failed me.
In 2014, I was still working as an occupational health nurse. Everything seemed to be okay as I considered my experience a step towards my dream. Not until one day, there was a stirring in my heart that I should leave my work. I was hesitant to heed because I needed to work! I could not afford to resign. There was this question that compelled my heart, “Do you trust me? Do you believe that I can bless and favor you?” I shrugged it off because I was afraid that it could only be my own voice.
One Sunday morning during praise and worship, I saw a vision. It was very vivid that until now, I can clearly see it in my mind. I saw a sea of diamonds, sparkling. The sky was dark and yet too bright because of the stars that were twinkling. I was on a cliff. And a Voice told me, “My child, jump. Do not be afraid because I am with you.” I was crying because how many Sundays did I sing songs about God’s faithfulness and goodness, and yet it was too hard for me to trust Him. It dawned on me that I do not trust him with all my mind and strength.
Armed with the promises of the Lord in the Bible and the Holy Spirit, I chose to travail the path He wants me to take: teaching. I desire to be used to disciple young minds, to let them love the Lord and follow Him, and for them to also share God’s love. I believe that teaching is a great tool for sowing God’s word and influencing the next generation.
I thought I was fully resolved until doubts crept in. I asked the Lord, “Have I heard your instruction clearly? I felt left behind and the people around me kept on bugging me and telling me that I wasted my nursing degree. It pained me. But through Jesus’ words in Mark 1:6, He comforted me, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.” I was reminded that my life is not wasted; that this life, when offered to the Lord, is not wasted. He put in my heart an unspeakable joy!
As one of my favorite missionaries, Jim Elliot, said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” And I could not agree more! To the world, I might have lost my dream but to me, I did not. I found the supreme Treasure. Indeed, it was a beautiful exchange!
