I am Jasbantsingh Kandola, 29 years old. I used to live my life with depression and attempted several times to take my life by shooting my head with a gun. I kept on trying to do it but I didn’t know why I couldn’t do it. And then, there was Someone who stopped me from doing it. I woke up one morning not knowing that I still couldn’t end my life. There were many thoughts in my head that day until I asked myself; “Can a true Christian be depressed?”
The process for recovering is never easy for me. Sometimes, I get lost on track then suddenly when sadness comes in, it takes over and consumes my life. I even hurt myself just to ease the hurt and the pain that I’m feeling. Last July 30, it was my birthday when my wife decided to leave me. I felt so devastated and had suicidal thoughts again. However, Satan did not win over me.
It was because of the ExCEL service which I have started experiencing God’s love and presence. I have experienced His great love to the point that I don’t even need it from other people. That’s why I started to engage myself in reading and learning the Word of God. I have stayed away from my wrongdoings and bad habits. Eventually, I realized that depression is Satan himself.
Nevertheless, the Lord first loved us, before we do. It has become clearer to me when I learn to accept that the Lord is the only One who can restore my heart and save me from depression. God will do the same to you as well! My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, have you experienced that you feel like your lost and you don’t know which direction you are going to take? Don’t lose hope! For the Lord, himself looks unto our hearts, not in our past.
Now, I made the decision to obey the Lord as I allow Him to fix me every day. Being a father to my children, I will do my best to raise them well for I know that I am not alone. The Lord is with me-allowing His presence to overflow in my life. For those people who are battling against depression, I encourage you to just come to the Lord and never lose hope. He will change and make you new again! God bless you all.
